If you are a woman and you "get" Dick, be proud of it. While you're not as good as a man, you're at least better than other women.

As a woman who regularly "gets" Dick, feel free to submit your thoughts on feminism, female inferiority, or pictures of yourself in mabtw man-gear, to appear on this site.

Email all submissions to dickmasterson@gmail.com.

Dear Dick,

As someone who was born inferior (a woman), I’ve lived my entire life trying to overcome my natural deficiencies. I’ve even been granted honorary man status by some of my best friends (all men). Therefore, I have a message for every filthy slop cunt who has made my journey even harder.

To every worthless whorebag out there:

Sex and the City. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Oprah. Danielle Steele. Feminists. Rachel Ray. The Lifetime Network. The list goes on.

Every time I see some hairy, hippie, femi-nazi in birkenstocks and no make-up… I just want to punch them in the face. Seriously. Put on some makeup, do your hair, shave your legs/ armpits/ snatch and look like a woman. But try not to think (there’s a term I use loosely) like one.

Stop being illogical, clingy, screeching, shreiking, weepy, jealous whores. Stop. Shut your mouth, start being a human being and don’t bitch. No one gives a shit about your period. No one cares about anything you have to whine about. Shut up, learn to cook, give good head and just smile. You don’t have to be a mindless, obediant drone, but knowing how to cook for your man and take care of him is fucking important. Be well read and inteligent and all that. But shut the fuck up about “womens rights” and “equality” and all sorts of shit.

You don’t know why men won’t open a door for you or bring you flowers? Well maybe if you acted like a woman, you’d be fucking treated like one. Don’t be a demanding cunt, don’t act like you’re too good to give him a back rub and open his beer and then expect him to get down and lick your ass (literally or figuratively).

You know why marriages lasted so long back in the day? Men and women knew their parts in a relationship. You know why men were so much more inclined to be romantic and dance with you and *gasp* get down on one knee and propose BEFORE you were 35? Because they knew a good woman when they saw one. Learn from your grandmother. Cook, clean, dress well and you might be able to stop watching the fucking Lifetime Channel and eating tubs of ice cream when you’re depressed that no man wants you in your generic “I’m a whore” witty saying t-shirt and your hair thrown up in a nasty, messy side pony-tail. Take off the sweatpants (they’re not cute), and wipe that fucking scowl off your face. Smile, and DON’T BE A CUNT.

A pair of thigh highs, a garter belt, nice 3 inch spike heels, a just-above-the-knee skirt and properly applied make up and you’ll be a better person. Be able to hold a conversation about SOMETHING he enjoys… and believe me, he hates oprah, he hates rachel ray and he really doesn’t think that the WNBA counts as sports.

Oh, and if a dude hits you and you don’t: A) hit him back B) leave or C) hit him back and leave, then you deserve to get beaten, you silly whore. There’s always a way out, stupid.

I really am ashamed of my gender.

Thank you, Dick. I appreciate your time.

-Teri, NJ

Hi Dick,

I know you probably will delete this, but I just wanted to let you know some women do agree with a lot you have to say. Men generally are very kind and thoughtful and they always get thanked by being “bashed” by women. It’s a disgrace. This is such a small example, but it’s something I see almost everyday, everywhere I go. I feel really disgusted when I see a man nice enough to open a door for a woman, and she doesn’t even acknowledge his kindness.. like doors are just magically supposed to blow open because you have ovaries.

If you’ve ever noticed, when a guy opens the door for you at a gas station, even if he’s in a hurry, that few seconds he took to open the door and stand there means he is usually going to be behind you in line to check out.OK, I know that’s a minute observation, but I imagine being a man, this happening everday of your life? Being last in line because you held the door for a ingrate who then gets ahead of you in line? I always say thank you to a man for opening the door for me, I appreciate it. If I end up ahead of him in the check out, I insist he go first because he is probably trying to get back to work and needs to hurry. The only parts I disagree with you is that we are all whores. I’ve never cheated on my husband or even come close. I think flirting with other men is even wrong, and while I dress to look attractive the provacative items are only for one pair of eyes.

I feel bad for the younger men today because the quality of women has gone seriously downhill, and I don’t blame them if they don’t want to marry some money grubbing sleaze. It’s important that unsuspecting men learn not to invite this trouble into their by *asking* a woman like that to marry him to begin with..I have 2 sons, and sadly we have had to teach them these kinds of lessons.

1 Do NOT have a girldfriend in high school or college, or until you are ready to get married at least in your late 30’s,, do not get involved.
2 Do NOT get sucked into spending hundreds of dollars on HER prom fantasy..
3. Be aware of the pregnancy scams, and that since they will even dig a used condom out of the trash to inseminate themselves with…never let it out of your sight, or put Tobasco in it before you toss it

If they want to get married when they are older and ready to have a family (if they want a family) to a respectable woman who doesn’t disagree to a pre-nup, that is best way.

You may not even agree with that, but it’s the best we can do for our 2 sons to prepare them..

Missy

I just actually wanted to thank you for creating this site. Despite being a woman myself I completely agree with everything you say. I believe that women were just made to be inferior to men and no matter how hard they try they will never be “equal”. As I’ve grown up I have always had a hatred of women and I’m so glad to find a site that I can really relate to. I think those idiots who write you hate male need to grow up and realize that everyone has an opinion and to not take things so seriously.

I understand if you don’t respect me because I am a woman, and I’m fine with that. I just wanted to let you know that i totally respect your opinion and maybe one day all the women will wake up and realize that they are always going to be inferior to men.

Keep up the good work!

Brandi

Dick,

I’m a smart for a woman, exceptionally smart in fact and at my current age of eighteen I am already a university graduate in maths and physics. As you know this puts me in a horrifying situation of having to be part of and identified with the stupidest grouping ever to exist in human history : Women.

You can imagine the suffering . I have been lucky enough to have been granted a tiny portion of the intelligence of a man, which leads me to fight my inferior mind as I strive to be as manly as I can. But even with my less than male intelligence I am driven insane every hour of the day by female stupidity. How you superior men keep you’re sanity when you have to put up with women all day everyday is just beyond me!

Ordinary women can’t accept their inferiority because they are just too plain stupid , but in my studies I associate daily with the smartest and most educated women that exist in society. They all agree that they are just unable to compare to a man on anything. My finest fellow laboratory workers are male, fantastic guys who have allowed me to enjoy my work by putting in serious time and effort to help me to overcome my female disadvantages in scientific and intelligent thought. Women wouldn’t do that , they are useless bitches who would never do hard work for anything but their own gain ,and they certainly wouldn’t do something just for the sake of somebody else’s happiness. In fact women are sadists who enjoy treading on others. A woman is a human being with all the best qualities taken out of them leaving behind only the primitive selfish animal that humans evolved from.

The truth does not hurt smart women. They get Dick. They know that men are better than women. There is hope for the truth yet.

Thank you and keep it up !.

Jess B

I’m a 23 year old college educated woman. All my life, I’ve been told how I deserve respect. Men should respect me, I should respect myself, I should demand respect from everyone around me, from employers to dates.

Do we tell boys that? Of course not. Boys are told, correctly, that respect is earned.

I’m pretty sure this all happened when a father, desperate to keep his daughter off the stripper’s pole, tried to instill self-respect in his daughter. Sadly, she probably took that to mean she should charge more money for sex.

-Essie

Thank God, someone finally came out and said it!

Most women are ridiculously stupid, lazy, or otherwise ineffective at life. I took pride being raised by two awesome parents and spending a lot of time with my dad in the classic “tom boy” type thing. Having no patience for the damn drama of being friends with girls, I gravitated towards hanging with some very cool dudes, especially in college.

Now here is the difference ladies: when I say I am, “one of the guys,” I don’t sleep with the guys. I hate those fricken’ sluts who rave about their guyish traits, (burping and farting don’t cut it sweety), but then totally get down and busy with the “guys” after all is said and done. Guess what honey, the guys don’t bone each other…unless it’s a Schlept’s Dude’s Night Out! in which case, a mouth is a mouth.

So please ladies, don’t be offended by Dick, though he comes off in a Dickish way to you, he is actually hilariously spilling truth all over you! Lighten up and get over yourselves!!

Go Dick!

-Catalina

My husband and I have a very happy, solid marriage and our sex life is fantastic. Obviously from the looks of my blog, we don’t have a problem stumbling and exchanging porn with each other. My husband and I don’t understand why couples aren’t more like us. Open, honest and accepting of each other completely. We both think that one of the main reasons for high divorce rates is because most woman become instant prudes once that ring is on her finger. She evolves into a nagging bitch making it her duty to change HER man. For many wives their appearance and desire for sex goes down hill over the years. When a husbands need for sex becomes annoying to his wife the rejection gets to be too much and he simply stops trying. What really gets me is these very woman will bitch about how their husbands don’t listen to their needs and they no longer have sex. Talk about mixed messages!

No wonder husbands are forced to hide their porn and masturbate in secret.

Attention ladies or as Dick Masterson refers them “Shitty Wife”….a man needs to feel love and appreciated just as much as you do! It isn’t all about you all of the time. Your nagging is negative energy and the surest way to turn him off and give up trying. Have you ever looked at yourself as a contributer of the the problem AND the solution? Are you depressed, feel stressed and overall unhappy? Well, why haven’t you gone to the doctor for a check up check for diabetes, thyroid and hormone levels and talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. There is simply no excuse to give up on your sex life. You might as well be giving up on your marriage. There are many solutions where you can be the first to make a choice to save your marriage. There are drugs for depression and anxiety, individual therapy and support groups. And as a couple there’s marriage counseling and sex therapists. If you are post-menopausal there are drugs and creams out there to help your low libido and vaginal dryness. There’s also silicone and water based lubrication. My favorite is Uro’ a silicon product that’s real silky and a little goes a long way. If you are wearing a condom use water based lubrication.

For immediate antidepressant, energy boosting, instant closeness is to get some exercise and have sex! A happy sexually fulfilled man is relaxed enough to listen to your needs and help find a way to make you happy which in turn makes you secure. A sense of security elevates anxiety, depression and tension. Sex instantly elevates all that by flooding your body with oxytocin (your bodies natural high and pain reliever). If you don’t like to have sex once a week and you are tired of begging your man to get off the computer and come to bed, get off your fat ass and give him a blow-job while he is looking at porn! It’s been my experience that giving a blow-job, boob-job, or hand job can be quite the turn on and lead to intercourse. Your husband needs to feel needed too! Any kind of sexual contact brings him a sense of closeness, security and a reason to come home to you. Isn’t that what you’ve been nagging him for all along?

Ladies, it really breaks my heart to receive letters from men living in a sexless marriage that has evolved into “just hold me and let’s cuddle”. Sex is your security, the glue in a marriage and the closest connection a couple can make. Your nagging is the fastest way to drive your lover away!

So I say to all of you prudish uptight women with grouchy husbands that “don’t do shit around the house”….

IF you are too stressed out to put out and you aren’t into sucking your man’s cock I highly recommend you give it a try because most men ejaculate quickly with some assistance. You have choices, give in OR let him jerk off! So tell me, what exactly is the harm in letting your husband surf porn uninterrupted? For crying out loud, he is pestering you for sex because he is being tortured by you! He’s got blue balls because he’s “saving” himself for when YOU are ready? So when’s that going to be, a week or more? Break the vicious cycle, get real and allow intimacy back into your marriage. Remember how loved, happy, connected and appreciated you both felt when you were dating and first married? Men and women who regularly masturbate AND have sex tend to be more productive, happier and eager to cum home to spend quality time with the family! Do you still feel offend by this and my StumbleUpon.com blog? Before you write me a negative review and hit that stumble button read the last two lines again. By the way, kids sense unhappiness and impending divorce before you even realize the emotional damage has been done to them. So do yourself a favor, end the vicious cycle, save your marriage now and take the sexless marriage quiz.

Sincerely, http://mewdy.stumbleupon.com/

Dick,

This email is totally serious. This website has opened my eyes to so many things about myself as a woman, and about women in general. It has also introduced me to the male mind. I say introduced because before I came here, I had no idea…no fucking idea.

The few things I could say for sure I knew about men were wrong. I can’t think of any woman who ever taught me about how wonderful men are because none of them ever did. All I have ever heard is how they all cheat, lie, and dominate women.

In so many ways, women are not stepping up to the plate. They demand to be treated with respect, but they don’t feel they need to earn it, they don’t give it to men from the start, and they don’t return the favor either.

Men are depicted so horribly in the media, and that is totally okay with women! But women are always portrayed as victims. They are not held responsible for their own behavior, and when they make poor choices that compromise their character, they blame it on someone else: parents, ex boyfriends, husbands, WHOEVER is handy.

They play so many games with the men in their lives, and sometimes, they don’t even understand what they are really doing. Women have no idea as to the depths and complexity of their evil.

There is a lot of bullshit about women on this website, sure, but the truths are so true, so wise, and so important. For me, this whole website is a challenge to reconsider my views about men, women, what sets the bar for each as far as character, where it all comes from.

I’m so thankful that I found this website so that I can listen to what men have to say about their lives and about women.

Here is an example of something really valuable that I picked up:

If a man ever asks me if I would be willing to sign a prenup, this is how I am going to respond: “Get me a pen.”

And its fucking funny as hell too!!

Don’t worry, I won’t tell any women about this site. I’ll try to share all the wisdom I learn here, but I won’t lead them to the source!

C.

Women suck.

Feminism is complete bullshit. It’s run by women, for God’s sake. For something that has had over a hundred years to mature, it’s still incredibly stupid. Think about it ladies, men are fully mature by the time they are in their 20’s. A hundred years and this women’s movement hasn’t done a bit of maturing, or changing.

And there is no glass ceiling. Why? Because the ceiling is made of steel. Steel comprised of womankind’s stupidity, cattiness, and general inferiority compared to men. Men, as a whole, move up the corporate ladder faster, earn more money, and become successful sooner than women do. Well, as much as woman can “succeed”.

The reason for this is because women are stupid.

A woman’s place is in the home. Plain and simple. As a woman myself, I can say with complete honesty that I would fail miserably in the workplace. I cannot think logically, I cannot do math, I cannot speak to anyone ever without including the words “um”, “like”, “need”, or “feel”.

This rule of emotional-filled speaking applies to all women. I have yet to meet a female who can argue rationally and carry her own weight in the workplace.

Take the military for example: while the men are out doing general manly things like killing and house-raids, women are…wait, where are they? They’re out at a luxury base in Kuwait complaining about their hair falling out.

Woman should not be allowed in the military, much less the infantry. The United States would fall into a massive vagina-shaped hole which it would never escape from. There’s a reason the United States Military is the most superior fighting force on this planet: MEN.

Along with this, woman should not only be banned from the military, but from any job that requires any physical skill whatsoever. Women are clumsy, have no sense of direction, and no physical strength. Why do you think there are so few women firefighters? Because women couldn’t carry more than 40 pounds without collapsing. What good would that do in an inferno?

Women should not be police officers, soldiers, firefighters, or construction workers. The most constructive thing a woman can do is to go get the dishes done.

What are you waiting for? Those dishes aren’t going to do themselves.

Oh, and while you’re on your way to the sink, make sure you find the nearest man and bask in his superiority.

-Sarah

There aren’t many of us, Dick, but there ARE women who stand apart from the female crowd and wonder WHAT is wrong with most of our “sisters” and cannot figure out why they are so lazy,manipulative, destructive, unreliable, underhanded, selfish and immature. Obviously, there ARE men with those unattractive qualities, but the percentage of women today like that seems to be climbing. I blame the Feminist Movement…and I was there when it blossomed, so I should know.

Additionally, there are women who have been (and still are) out in the working world who get on famously with men, work hard, use their intellects and talents, rely on logic and totally get teamwork and “the rules”.

I spent over thirty years in the work force (left home at 16) and have worked in the theater, in the legal profession and in the corporate business world. The BEST bosses I had were always men; they challenged me, they taught me, they let me take risks and responsibilities and they let me grow. Yes, there were a few “wackos” and misfits (and I DO have stories!), but overall, I truly enjoyed my jobs and career path areas where I had male bosses. Perhaps I picked good men, perhaps the good men picked me? Don’t
know, but it’s still the truth that the best bosses I had were male.

Interestingly, my grandmother and her sister were both in business EARLY in the 1900’s (when it was REALLY unusual for women to work at all) and they continually worked side by side with men all their lives and had nothing but the best to say about men. My grandmother was a cattle rancher and my aunt owned two banks and lumber company. Neither of them was a wallflower, both were well educated and very intelligent and talented and both of them had men as husbands, friends, counselors, mentors, etc. I was fortunate to have these two incredible women as “models”, and learned early on that men and how they think and how they approach life knew what they were doing.

One of the biggest shocking truths I had to learn when first working was that the women in most of the jobs I had (except one) were NOT interested in “helping a sister”. THAT bunch of garbage was spewed into the culture by the N.O.W. during the early ’70’s and it was the biggest lie swallowed by women of my generation. Even I nearly bought the story. Not for long, though.

In REAL life, 95% of the time my female coworkers, bosses and even underlings were constantly calculating how they could undermine or stab in the back all the OTHER females there. I did have one great female mentor (for which I will always be grateful) but most of the time I spent hordes of energy trying to not get zapped by these awful women.

What a waste of time, energy, talent and potential achievement. It’s why I eventually became self-employed, and to this day, most of my clients and support people are male. It just works out better that way.

Lest you think me a misanthrope and miserable in my life with no one, I’ve been happily married for over 29 years to a man who is my best friend. My “other” best friend IS a man also, and is someone with whom I’ve been in business for over seven years. ALso, I got on well with my father, grandfather and great uncle, too. Each one of those family men respected me, challenged me and expected me to work at the best of my intellect and ability…and therefore, they each believed I could do and be whatever I wanted to do and be, whether it was in a job, in sports, in my hobbies or just in life in general. No games, no manipulations, no stabbing, no destructiveness.

All the truly good friends, as well as the largest number of friends I had in college and in grad school, were male. It just seems to me that it’s easier overall to get on with a man, talk to a man, figure things in life out with a man as your teammate than a woman. Men generally are more often dependable, men DO stuff.

One caveat: it does bother me that sometimes folks get into the “they all are…” syndrome. I am NOT going to go on to your site and write diatribes saying “ALL women are…” any more than I’d say, “ALL men are…”. People are individuals and so their reactions are different. Not all ASians are the same, not all Blacks are the same, not all Hispanics are the same, etc, etc.

So, although my best relationships in life have been with men, there have been some very fine girlfriends in my life as well. But, it’s not the kind of situation one hears about with most women wherein we all get together to giggle and gaggle and go to the mall and spend ourselves into oblivion. My few girlfriends are much like myself…independent, educated, interested in many things, focused on enjoying life, are kind to their family and mates and children and animals and EACH ONE OF THESE WOMEN RESPECTS AND LIKES MEN. Some are career women, some are housewives and moms. I don’t care one way or the other what they “do” in life as it is the intrinsic ability to respect, admire and cooperate with men as a partner and for each sex to use its own strength and ability to make it through life that counts to me.

There were a few minor areas on your site of which I was not supportive (one commentary about hitting a woman in the face upset me…I wouldn’t condone hitting ANYONE in the face “just because”), but overall, I guess perhaps by reading your site I found that my inability to “bond” with most women is BECAUSE I am in agreement with the ideas and statements overall that your site covers. I don’t know—does this mean I think like a man? It’s been said to me that I do, and honestly, I ALWAYS took that as a compliment.

For what it’s worth: my husband and my guy pal BOTH complain of many of the problems stated in most of the threads I read and I’ve been rather appalled watching what they deal with at work, and in the case of my guy friend, in his dating relationships. Wow is about all I can say other than it’s discouraging to see it all.

Well, Dick, I do suppose I just did prove one thing about women: we do use alot of words! Sorry about that, but I wanted to state my opinion and case for why I agree with much that is on your site.

Anyway, Dick, thank you for listening. I’ll be looking the site over in the
future again.
B